Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
