Define "chronic" masturbator.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
