Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
