I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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