1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
