How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
