Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
