he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
