dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
