It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
