so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
