Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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