Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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