I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My ass is underappreciated
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
