So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
