You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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