based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I don't think brook has ever known best
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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