i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
