I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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