lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize