I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So much rum. So many feels.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
