are you still at the devil's house?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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