...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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