Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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