You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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