The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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