I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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