Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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