aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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