my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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