Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
