Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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