She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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