He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
