When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
