hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He felt like a one man threesome
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
