K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
