i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
