I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
