i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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