do herpes really smell.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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