well I can't set my house on fire every night
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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