man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
