That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
