So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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