Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
