Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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