the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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