those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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