I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
