I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
